Collection: Humor

Move over zombies and adolescent vampires.

There's a new threat in town--and it's only twelve inches tall. How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack is the only comprehensive survival guide that will help you prevent, prepare for, and ward off an imminent home invasion by the common garden gnome. Once thought of as harmless yard decorations, evidence is mounting that these smiling lawn statues are poised and ready to wreck havoc. The danger is real. And it's here.
Class 1 gnome-slayer and gnome defense expert Chuck Sambuchino has developed a proven system--Assess, Protect, Defend, Apply--for safeguarding property, possessions, and loved ones. Strategies include step-by-step instructions for gnome-proofing the average dwelling, recognizing and interpreting the signs of a gathering hoard, and--in the event that a secured perimeter is breached--confronting and combating the attackers at close range.

Good grief! No one can get into messy situations quite like Charlie Brown, the round-headed star of Charles Schultz's beloved comic strip. Luckily, the rest of the Peanuts gang is never far behind to share a laugh in this full-color collection.

Charles Schulz's Peanuts is one of the most timeless and beloved comic strips ever. In this second book of the series, the gang's all here and getting into classic Peanuts hijinks. Whether it's the dynamic duo of Snoopy and Woodstock, or the never-ending crush that Peppermint Patty has on Charlie Brown, the gang's interactions are the heart of strip and will resonate with kids for years to come.

The Official Spider Test.

What do you do when you see a spider?

a. Lay on a BIG spidey smoocheroo.

b. Smile, but back away slowly.

c. Grab the closest object, wind up, and let it fly.

d. Run away screaming.

If you chose b, c, or d, then this book is for you! (If you chose a, you might be crazy.)

I'm Trying to Love Spiders will help you see these amazing arachnids in a whole new light, from their awesomely excessive eight eyes, to the seventy-five pounds of bugs a spider can eat in a single year! And you're sure to feel better knowing you have a better chance of being struck by lightning than being fatally bit by a spider. Comforting, right? No? Either way, there's heaps more information in here to help you forget your fears . . . or at least laugh a lot!

In this FoxTrot collection, the Fox family's offbeat vacation into the desert descends into chaos as the members of the family cope with an order (through the drive-in window) for two million cheeseburgers, a broken Nintendo, bikini shopping, and other perils of modern life.

Get three of your favorite books about Pusheen, the beloved tubby tabby cat, in this charmingly designed collection.

Get reintroduced to the internet's favorite cat with I Am Pusheen the Cat and learn all about this cuddly feline who has won hearts around the world.

Then go on fun escapades with Pusheen as she dives in her unicorn, dragon, alien, mermaid, dinosaur, and even dog alter egos in The Many Lives of Pusheen the Cat.

Finally, get her expert advice and adorable wit with Pusheen the Cat's Guide to Everything.

From the moment the school bell rings in the morning to the end of the day, when it's time for homework and after-school snacks, School Rules! Mad Libs JuniorTM is perfect for every student!

The joys of the world, one terrible map at a time - this is the ultimate gift book for the budding geographer or anyone who wants to have a laugh.

Ever wondered about the average jean colour across the United States? Or what 'pedestrians' look like in Denmark? What unites Brokenwind, Upton Snodsbury and Crackpot? And have you ever tried to take a train in Antarctica? Well Terrible Maps is the book for you!

Put together by the creator behind the tremendously popular social media feed, this is the ultimate humour book for the budding geographer in your life. From countries that eat their national animals to nations that have declared war on birds (and lost), Terrible Maps celebrates pointless cartography in all its glory. Don't leave home without it!

Folks in the Delta have a strong sense of community, and being dead is no impediment to belonging to it. Down South, they don't forget you when you've up and died--in fact, they visit you more often. But there are quintessential rules and rituals for kicking the bucket tastefully. Having a flawless funeral is one of them.

In this deliciously entertaining slice of Southern life (and death), inveterate hostess Gayden Metcalfe explains everything you need to know to host an authentic Southern funeral. Can you be properly buried without tomato aspic? Who prepares tastier funeral fare, the Episcopal ladies or the Methodist ladies? And what does one do when a family gets three sheets to the wind and eats the entire feast the night before a funeral?

Each chapter includes a delicious, tried-and-true Southern recipe, critical if you plan to die tastefully any time soon. Pickled Shrimp, Aunt Hebe's Coconut Cake, and the ubiquitous Bing Cherry Salad with Coca-Cola are among the many dishes guaranteed to make the next funeral the most satisfying one yet.

Even if you've never been south of Rochester, this book will charm, it will entertain, and it will give you all the ingredients required for the perfect Southern send-off.

Find inspiration for wellness, confidence, and hope with this official, one-of-a-kind talking bobblehead of the world's favorite fitness guru, Richard Simmons. Set includes:

• SPECIFICATIONS: 3 inch Richard Simmons bobblehead figure on a base
• AUTHENTIC AUDIO: Says 10 unique motivational messages in the inimitable voice of Simmons himself. Lines include "This is so much fun!" "You can do it!" and "You know you're worth it!"
• BONUS BOOK: 32-page book features full-color photos and more inspirational quotes
• PERFECT GIFT: A uniquely motivational gift
• OFFICIALLY LICENSED: Authentic collectible

Now available as a stand-alone edition, the famous humorist's debut collection--a runaway bestseller in 1926--ranges from lighthearted self-deprecation to acid-tongued satire, all the while gleefully puncturing sentimental clichés about relations between men and women.

Known as the wittiest woman in America and a founder of the fabled Algonquin Round Table, Dorothy Parker was also one of the Jazz Age's most beloved poets. Her verbal dexterity and cynical humor were on full display in the many poems she published in Vanity Fair, The New Yorker, and Life and collected in her first book in 1926. The poems in Enough Rope range from lighthearted self-deprecation to acid-tongued satire, all the while gleefully puncturing sentimental clichés about the relations between men and women.

Unfortunate Coincidence
By the time you swear you're his,
Shivering and sighing,
And he vows his passion is
Infinite, undying--
Lady, make a note of this:
One of you is lying.

In New York Times bestselling author Kirsten Miller's Everything You Need to Know When You Are 8, dominate age eight with a trove of earth-shattering secrets, jokes, and tips they won't teach you in school!

What's the best gift for a kid who's turned eight? Everything they need to know! Eight is a banner year in every kid's life. It's when they're finally granted "big kid" status. That means more freedom and responsibility. It also means there's a ton of stuff to learn, and some of it's pretty important.

Inside this hilarious handbook is the information kids need to make eight one of the best years of their lives--from the fun (How to Win Halloween) to the serious (How to Get Germs Before They Get You) and the downright disgusting (How to Make Boogers You Can Eat).

"Miller discusses a vast amount of topics in a straightforward yet casually conversational manner . . . a welcome supplement for kids who need to learn that it is okay to get mad or when to call 911 versus simply reach for a Band-Aid." --School Library Connection

Includes color illustrations

Everything You Need to Know series:
Everything You Need to Know When You Are 8
Everything You Need to Know When You Are 9
Everything You Need to Know When You Are 10

The most inspiring, beautiful and thought-provoking reflections and declarations of love, all in one place.

From Shakespeare's sonnets to the rom coms of modern-day cinema, Enlightenment philosophy to the latest Nicholas Sparks novel, one could say that no other topic has inspired such beauty - in art, literature, poetry or music - than that of love.

In The Little Book of Love the words of civil rights activists sit alongside those of movie stars, world leaders and the philosophers of Ancient Greece. In its pages you will find some hard-won lovers' wisdom, a whole host of poignant and inspiring reflections on love, as well as some of the most famous, endearing and enduring declarations of love ever spoken.

"Love is not love Which alters when it alteration finds, Or bends with the remover to remove: O no! it is an ever-fixed mark That looks on tempests and is never shaken ..." William Shakespeare, "Sonnet 116"

"With the whole world crumbling, we pick this time to fall in love." Ilsa Lund, Casablanca (1942)

Based off the beloved carnival game, this desktop kit includes everything you need to become a high striker! Kit includes:

• 7-1/4" rail and pellet
• Bell with sound
• Hammer
• 32-page book with history, techniques, and the rules of the game
  

Help your little one dream big with a Little Golden Book biography about comedian, actor, and filmmaker Mel Brooks. Little Golden Book biographies are the perfect introduction to nonfiction for young readers--as well as fans of all ages!

This Little Golden Book about Mel Brooks--legendary EGOT funnyman and director of classics such as Young Frankenstein and The Producers--is an inspiring read-aloud for young children and their parents and grandparents who are fans.

Look for more Little Golden Book biographies:
- Betty White
- Carol Burnett
- Lucille Ball
- Harry Belafonte
- Julie Andrews
- Dwayne Johnson

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER

"America's favorite poet."--The Wall Street Journal

From the two-term Poet Laureate of the United States Billy Collins comes his first volume of new and selected poems in twelve years. Aimless Love combines fifty new poems with generous selections from his four most recent books--Nine Horses, The Trouble with Poetry, Ballistics, and Horoscopes for the Dead. Collins's unmistakable voice, which brings together plain speech with imaginative surprise, is clearly heard on every page, reminding us how he has managed to enrich the tapestry of contemporary poetry and greatly expand its audience. His work is featured in top literary magazines such as The New Yorker, Poetry, and The Atlantic, and he sells out reading venues all across the country. Appearing regularly in The Best American Poetry series, his poems appeal to readers and live audiences far and wide and have been translated into more than a dozen languages. By turns playful, ironic, and serious, Collins's poetry captures the nuances of everyday life while leading the reader into zones of inspired wonder. In the poet's own words, he hopes that his poems "begin in Kansas and end in Oz." Touching on the themes of love, loss, joy, and poetry itself, these poems showcase the best work of this "poet of plenitude, irony, and Augustan grace" (The New Yorker).

Envoy

Go, little book,
out of this house and into the world,

carriage made of paper rolling toward town
bearing a single passenger
beyond the reach of this jittery pen
and far from the desk and the nosy gooseneck lamp.

It is time to decamp,
put on a jacket and venture outside,
time to be regarded by other eyes,
bound to be held in foreign hands.

So off you go, infants of the brain,
with a wave and some bits of fatherly advice:

stay out as late as you like,
don't bother to call or write,
and talk to as many strangers as you can.

Praise for Aimless Love

"[Billy Collins] is able, with precious few words, to make me cry. Or laugh out loud. He is a remarkable artist. To have such power in such an abbreviated form is deeply inspiring."--J. J. Abrams, The New York Times Book Review

"His work is poignant, straightforward, usually funny and imaginative, also nuanced and surprising. It bears repeated reading and reading aloud."--The Plain Dealer

"Collins has earned almost rock-star status. . . . He knows how to write layered, subtly witty poems that anyone can understand and appreciate--even those who don't normally like poetry. . . . The Collins in these pages is distinctive, evocative, and knows how to make the genre fresh and relevant."--The Christian Science Monitor

"Collins's new poems contain everything you've come to expect from a Billy Collins poem. They stand solidly on even ground, chiseled and unbreakable. Their phrasing is elegant, the humor is alive, and the speaker continues to stroll at his own pace through the plainness of American life."--The Daily Beast

"[Collins's] poetry presents simple observations, which create a shared experience between Collins and his readers, while further revealing how he takes life's everyday humdrum experiences and makes them vibrant."--The Times Leader

Mad Libs is the world's greatest word game and a great gift or activity for anyone who likes to laugh! Write in the missing words on each page to create your own hilariously funny stories in this supersized collection of 10 of your favorite Mad Libs titles!

Go Big or Go Mad Libs is here to make you say "EXCLAMATION!" With over 200 "fill-in-the-blank" stories about everything from puppies to aliens to mad scientists, this Mad Libs has something for everyone. Play alone, in a group, or on a field trip. Mad Libs are a fun family activity recommended for ages 8 to NUMBER.

The books included in this collection are: Field Trip Mad Libs; Grab Bag Mad Libs; Mad Scientist Mad Libs; History of the World Mad Libs; Spy Mad Libs; Unidentified Flying Mad Libs; Much Ado About Mad Libs; Unicorns, Mermaids, and Mad Libs; Dog Ate My Mad Libs; and Meow Libs