If Wishes Were Retail
If Wishes Were Retail
If Wishes Were Retail
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Description
Description
"Irresistibly fun and funny, with a ton of heart and depth! This is the kind of book that sneaks up on you and sticks with you!"
--Sarah Beth Durst, New York Times bestselling author of The Spellshop
In this hilarious debut fantasy cozy, a rebellious--but enterprising--young woman and an ancient--but clueless--genie set up shop at the local mall. Alex Delmore needs a miracle. She wants out of her dead-end suburban town, but her parents are broke and NYU seems like a distant dream. Good thing there's a genie in town--and he's hiring at the Wellspring Mall. It'd help if the Jinn-formerly-of-the-Ring-of-Khorad knew even one thing about 21st-century America. It'd help if he weren't at least as stubborn as Alex. It'd really help if her brother didn't sell her out to her conspiracy theory-loving, gnome-hating dad. When Alex and the genie set up their wishing kiosk, they face seemingly-endless setbacks. The mall is failing and management will not stop interfering on behalf of their big-box tenants. But when the wishing biz might start working, the biggest problem of all remains: People are really terrible at wishing.
--Sarah Beth Durst, New York Times bestselling author of The Spellshop
In this hilarious debut fantasy cozy, a rebellious--but enterprising--young woman and an ancient--but clueless--genie set up shop at the local mall. Alex Delmore needs a miracle. She wants out of her dead-end suburban town, but her parents are broke and NYU seems like a distant dream. Good thing there's a genie in town--and he's hiring at the Wellspring Mall. It'd help if the Jinn-formerly-of-the-Ring-of-Khorad knew even one thing about 21st-century America. It'd help if he weren't at least as stubborn as Alex. It'd really help if her brother didn't sell her out to her conspiracy theory-loving, gnome-hating dad. When Alex and the genie set up their wishing kiosk, they face seemingly-endless setbacks. The mall is failing and management will not stop interfering on behalf of their big-box tenants. But when the wishing biz might start working, the biggest problem of all remains: People are really terrible at wishing.
About the Author
About the Author
Auston Habershaw has worked as a lifeguard, barista, waiter, QA tester, dog walker, hotel bellhop, pedicab driver, SAT tutor, office drone, and a bunch of other random things. He now is a science fiction and fantasy author, writing about the could-be and never-was, and also teaches composition and literature at MCPHS University in Boston, MA. You can find him online at aahabershaw.com.
Critical Reviews
Critical Reviews
"Irresistibly fun and funny, with a ton of heart and depth! This is the kind of book that sneaks up on you and sticks with you!"
--Sarah Beth Durst, New York Times bestselling author of The Spellshop "Delightfully charming, and it continually surprised me."
--Phil Foglio, co-creator of Girl Genius "Habershaw (The Iron Ring) offers plenty of laughs in this diverting urban fantasy. After Alexandria Delmore, 17, loses her job at a bagel shop, she sees an ad to be a cashier for a genie who calls himself Mr. Jinn and intends to sell wishes at the Wellspring Mall and applies. Mr. Jinn proves a mercurial boss who's out of date with modern mores and often impulsively abuses his powers, but Alex hopes to get him in line. At first, people are wary of Jinn, but when a video of one of his clients' more malicious wishes coming true goes viral, customers begin trickling in. Jinn's miracles range from the mundane--changing hair colors, healing sunburns, and fixing someone's limp--to grand, including setting up a client with actor Chris Hemsworth, achieving world peace, and curing cancer, but his methods are often unconventional. When the mall gets in trouble for the duo's business of "warping reality," Alex's chances at economic stability and a better future are jeopardized. Even when the consequences of Jinn's actions become dire, Habershaw keeps up the lighthearted, humorous tone. It's a cozy, comical confection."
--Publishers Weekly "Habershaw's contemporary fantasy adventure is sassy and snarky but with soul. It is 2023, and all 17-year-old Alex Delmore wants is to escape her family and go to college. Her parents are constantly fighting, mostly due to her father being obsessed with conspiracy theories--he thinks gnomes are stealing his landscaping clients--and get-rich-quick schemes. The most recent scheme had such a severe impact on their finances that Alex was told she could not remain unemployed. But finding a job in their small town is not easy, so when she sees an online posting for a sales job with a genie, she is skeptical but desperate enough to take a chance. Turns out the genie is real and recently escaped the ring he had been trapped in for millennia. Now he wants to sell wishes at the local mall, but he needs someone to help him understand the twenty-first century. How Alex learns to deal with an obnoxious being of unlimited cosmic power and gains a better understanding of her fractured family is riotously funny and surprisingly poignant."
--Booklist "My three wishes? Three more books as good as this one from Auston Habershaw."
--Tom Holt, author of The Eight Reindeer of the Apocalypse "I wish I'd thought of this."
--Daniel Pinkwater, author of Jules, Penny & the Rooster "If Wishes Were Retail taps into a long-storied tradition of smart comedic fantasy in the vein of Terry Pratchett...If Wishes Were Retail is a ten out of ten gnomes--if you can see them, that is."
--Mia Tsai, Author of Bitter Medicine "A love letter to wounded people and community spaces, this suburban fantasy is both delightfully absurd and firmly grounded."
--Dave Klecha, co-author of The Runes of Engagement
--Sarah Beth Durst, New York Times bestselling author of The Spellshop "Delightfully charming, and it continually surprised me."
--Phil Foglio, co-creator of Girl Genius "Habershaw (The Iron Ring) offers plenty of laughs in this diverting urban fantasy. After Alexandria Delmore, 17, loses her job at a bagel shop, she sees an ad to be a cashier for a genie who calls himself Mr. Jinn and intends to sell wishes at the Wellspring Mall and applies. Mr. Jinn proves a mercurial boss who's out of date with modern mores and often impulsively abuses his powers, but Alex hopes to get him in line. At first, people are wary of Jinn, but when a video of one of his clients' more malicious wishes coming true goes viral, customers begin trickling in. Jinn's miracles range from the mundane--changing hair colors, healing sunburns, and fixing someone's limp--to grand, including setting up a client with actor Chris Hemsworth, achieving world peace, and curing cancer, but his methods are often unconventional. When the mall gets in trouble for the duo's business of "warping reality," Alex's chances at economic stability and a better future are jeopardized. Even when the consequences of Jinn's actions become dire, Habershaw keeps up the lighthearted, humorous tone. It's a cozy, comical confection."
--Publishers Weekly "Habershaw's contemporary fantasy adventure is sassy and snarky but with soul. It is 2023, and all 17-year-old Alex Delmore wants is to escape her family and go to college. Her parents are constantly fighting, mostly due to her father being obsessed with conspiracy theories--he thinks gnomes are stealing his landscaping clients--and get-rich-quick schemes. The most recent scheme had such a severe impact on their finances that Alex was told she could not remain unemployed. But finding a job in their small town is not easy, so when she sees an online posting for a sales job with a genie, she is skeptical but desperate enough to take a chance. Turns out the genie is real and recently escaped the ring he had been trapped in for millennia. Now he wants to sell wishes at the local mall, but he needs someone to help him understand the twenty-first century. How Alex learns to deal with an obnoxious being of unlimited cosmic power and gains a better understanding of her fractured family is riotously funny and surprisingly poignant."
--Booklist "My three wishes? Three more books as good as this one from Auston Habershaw."
--Tom Holt, author of The Eight Reindeer of the Apocalypse "I wish I'd thought of this."
--Daniel Pinkwater, author of Jules, Penny & the Rooster "If Wishes Were Retail taps into a long-storied tradition of smart comedic fantasy in the vein of Terry Pratchett...If Wishes Were Retail is a ten out of ten gnomes--if you can see them, that is."
--Mia Tsai, Author of Bitter Medicine "A love letter to wounded people and community spaces, this suburban fantasy is both delightfully absurd and firmly grounded."
--Dave Klecha, co-author of The Runes of Engagement
Publishing Information
Publishing Information
Publisher:
Tachyon Publications
Pub date:
2025-06-17
Length:
256 pages
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