Kitty Stryker has been working on defining and creating a consent culture for over ten years through her writing, workshops, and website. She's the editor of Ask: Building Consent Culture and author of Ask Yourself: The Consent Culture Workbook, and is especially interested in bringing conversations about consent out of the bedroom and into everyday life. Heather Corinna is the founder, director, designer and editor of Scarleteen, the first truly comprehensive sex, sexuality and relationships education site and resource for young people of its kind. She is also the author of S.E.X: The All-You-Need-To-Know Sexuality Guide to Get You Through Your Teens and Twenties (DaCapo Press); with Isabella Rotman, Wait, What?: A Comic Book Guide to Relationships, Bodies, and Growing Up (Oni Press) and the menopause memoir-slash-survival guide What Fresh Hell Is This? Perimenopause, Menopause, Other Indignities and You (Hachette Go!).

"Say More will change the game for many young people and parents, whether dealing with extreme situations or the everyday challenges of interpersonal relationships and maintaining one's agency."--Alex Winter, Actor

"Kitty is not only tackling the right topic but aiming at the exact right audience to make the most amount of positive impact."--Kevin A. Patterson, M.Ed, author of Love's Not Color Blind

"Say More is a brilliant overview of all things consent. It gives teens spot-on, realistic advice about how we might navigate all our relationships more consensually, and about how to handle things when we, inevitably, don't manage it at times."--Dr. Meg-John Barker, co-author of How To Understand Your Sexuality and Sexuality: A Graphic Guide

"Say More is an accessible, practical, friendly guide to consent and healthy boundaries in all kinds of relationships." --Jennifer Peepas, creator of CaptainAwkward.com

"Say More turns the nuanced social cues of consent into concrete frameworks, providing clear scripts and step-by-step guidance for critical conversations that too often go unspoken." --Sarah Dopp, ADHD coach and neurodivergent writer

"Kitty Stryker dives into the complexities and nuances of consent while giving straightforward and concise information and advice on how to navigate it all." --Erica Scott, co-author of Creating Consent Culture: A Handbook for Educators and founder of Creating Consent Culture

"Through unpacking common consent slogans and rules, Stryker gives teens the space and permission to reflect on their understanding of consent and their own consent practices." --Sarah Casper, consent educator

"Although aimed at teens, I recommend Say More to everyone. Kitty Stryker has written a brilliant, illuminating torch of a book; the more people who read and use it, the brighter and clearer all our interactions can be." --Alix Fox, sexual culture writer and script consultant to Netflix's Sex Education

"This book is an accessible guide to navigating consent in multiple contexts! It's practical, insightful, and respects the individual as well as the cooperative nature of preferable human interaction." --Avens O'Brien, Feminists for Liberty

"An engaging, inclusive, and informative guide to this crucial topic." --Kirkus Reviews

An engaging, inclusive, and informative guide to this crucial topic.

Stryker offers a conversational and informative teens' guide to discussing issues of consent.

From the outset of this guide, the author, a journalist and consent activist, is clear that it's intended for teen readers: Preceding the main text is a "Note to Adults" that recommends strategies for getting the book into teens' hands and beginning conversations about a subject that can be difficult to broach. Stryker is extremely clear throughout that consent is not just about sex. Early on, she defines the book as "part mentorship, part critical-thinking guide, part self-exploration, part challenge to the things we learn culturally as 'just how it is.'" She acknowledges that there's no "One True Answer" when it comes to consent--the book is intended as a jumping-off point for further thought and conversation. Within those parameters, Stryker tackles consent in all its various forms. The author presents each chapter as a question that she answers by using definitions, cultural context, clear examples, and suggestions for incorporating the ideas discussed into readers' lives; the Q&A format makes the difficult topic more accessible for teens (or anyone). Some questions she considers include "Why is consent so often treated as a gendered thing?"; "Is consent sexy?"; and "What's the difference between coercion and consent?" Stryker also delves into potential "what ifs" teens may think about, such as, what if "someone doesn't respect your boundaries?" and "What should I do when I've crossed someone's boundaries?" Keeping these heady questions accessible for her adolescent audience, Stryker answers them using ample personal examples and practical advice. This combination of lived experience and actionable counsel makes the material feel authentic and useful. For reasons laid out in the introductory chapters, the author draws more from personal experience and narrative examples than academic research, as she finds much of the literature on consent to be excessively gendered and narrow. Stryker is able to be more inclusive in her book, specifically discussing how these issues might differ for LGBTQ+ teens.

An engaging, inclusive, and informative guide to this crucial topic.

-- "Kirkus Reviews" (2/17/2024 12:00:00 AM)

Kitty Stryker has followed up her powerful book on consent culture with an essential resource for young people. Say More is crystal clear and complex without being dense or academic and is brimming with compassion and identification. Boundaries and consent are rarely discussed with our teens and children and should be commonplace in homes and schools. If I had had this book when I was thirteen and struggling alone with an abuser, it would have been a game changer. Say More will change the game for many young people and parents, whether dealing with extreme situations or the everyday challenges of interpersonal relationships and maintaining one's agency.

--Alex Winter "actor, Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure"

Say More is a brilliant overview of all things consent. It gives teens spot-on, realistic advice about how we might navigate all our relationships more consensually, and about how to handle things when we, inevitably, don't manage it at times. Kitty Stryker is just the friendly mentor required to guide us through this complex territory with clarity, steadiness, and a whole lot of relatable experience.

--Dr. Meg-John Barker " co-author of How To Understand Your Sexuality and Sexuality: A Graphic Guide"

Say More is an earnest, funny, thought-provoking exploration into not just consent, but good communication as a whole. The book approaches navigating consent with a blend of sensitivity and unapologetic, straightforward clarity, making it an essential read for anyone--not just teens--looking to enhance their communication skills. Kitty's emphasis on authenticity and compassion makes it a standout addition to the conversation. This book belongs in every sex-ed classroom and every relationship therapist's office.

--Cate Osborn (Catieosaurus) "certified ADHD sex educator"

As cisgender guys, we're not always socialized to have the kind of background in consent that we should. Had I had a whole-ass book to teach me in my teens vs. learning it all clumsily through trial and error in my adulthood, I'd probably have far fewer awkward interactions to cringe about for the rest of my life. Kitty is not only tackling the right topic but aiming at the exact right audience to make the most amount of positive impact.

--Kevin A. Patterson "M.Ed, author of Love's Not Color Blind"

Kitty Stryker makes exploring the nuances of consent interesting and fun. A joyous, galaxy brain read.--A.V. Flox "author of Disrupting the Bystander: When #metoo Happens Among Friends"

Consent conversations are so important, yet they often happen exclusively in the context of sex (if they happen at all). What I appreciate about Say More is that Kitty provides an expansive perspective of what consent is and can look like in teenagers' everyday lives, including in friendships and with adults, and how to respect and prioritize autonomy in a culture that doesn't. There's no assumption that consent is simply 'sexy' in this book, and I believe readers will appreciate that, in addition to the fundamentals, it intentionally addresses the fuzzy, murky parts of consent that are often left out of pop-culture sex and relationship resources.

--Anne Hodder-Shipp "author of Speaking from the Heart: 18 Languages for Modern Love"

Say More is an accessible, practical, friendly guide to consent and healthy boundaries in all kinds of relationships. Stryker answers questions from real teens and uses examples young people are likely to relate to without ever condescending, making the advice and tools in this book useful for anyone who wants to get better at awkward and necessary conversations.

--Jennifer Peepas "creator of CaptainAwkward.com"

A crucial resource for all teens, and an absolute godsend for neurodivergent teens! Say More turns the nuanced social cues of consent into concrete frameworks, providing clear scripts and step-by-step guidance for critical conversations that too often go unspoken. Teens will not only learn how to understand and communicate their own authentic levels of consent, but also how to seek and respond gracefully to someone else's.

--Sarah Dopp "ADHD coach and neurodivergent writer"

Kitty Stryker dives into the complexities and nuances of consent while giving straightforward and concise information and advice on how to navigate it all. I think teens will find this book more like a talk with a big sister than a 'how to' book on consent. Each chapter tackles tough questions that we all wrestle with. I wish I could have read a book like this when I was a teen!--Erica Scott "co-author of Creating Consent Culture: A Handbook for Educators and founder of Creating Consent Cult"

Say More provides a growth-oriented approach to the topic of consent. Through unpacking common consent slogans and rules, Stryker gives teens the space and permission to reflect on their understanding of consent and their own consent practices. The chapters are short, the stories are relatable, and the tools are practical. I continue to be impressed by the way Stryker helps deepen our capacities to build a culture of consent.

--Sarah Casper "consent educator"

Kitty Stryker is the perfect companion with whom to properly tuck into the important, intelligent, meaty conversations young people want and need to have about consent... Nothing's rushed over, and nothing's hushed up. Say More truly gets into the nitty gritty, so readers emerge not only with a more profound understanding of what navigating consent can look like, but also with a toolkit of skills to help them do so with greater confidence, comfort and safety.--Alix Fox "sexual culture writer and script consultant to Netflix's Sex Education"

Stryker goes beyond first-time and initial interactions, exploring such issues as "What's the Best Way to Tell Someone You've Changed Your Mind?" and "What Should I Do When I've Crossed Someone's Boundaries?" Features include a toolbox of strategies, checklists, consent tips, a bibliography, website guides, crisis resources, and a helpful glossary. This offers accessible and useful guidance for teens (and their parents), no matter how they identify.--Kathleen McBroom "Booklist"

Don't be fooled into thinking this book is just for teens. It's terrific for adults too. In a rare combination of clarity and nuance, it's useful for everyone. And it's a joy to read.--Dr. Betty Martin "author of The Art of Receiving and Giving: the Wheel of Consent"

Publisher: Thornapple Press

Pub date: 2024-04-26

Length: 160 pages